Heather du Plessis-Allan is the star of Seven Sharp

I have written about this before.

One week in I have had a wee watch of the Seven Sharp show and three things are evident:

1. Three presenters is beyond awful.
I describe it as being in a Hong Kong retail store and having three commission only sales flunkeys charge at you at the door.  It is tooooooo much.  The trio feel like they are flying at your screen and invading your living space, rather than sitting on the couch in it. 

Even the website is far too busy if you have even the mildest of hangover.

The multiple presenter format only works when you think they may be sleeping together therefore wary of the sexual tension.  Given Ali is out of Jesse and Greg's league completely, Seven Sharp starts on the wrong foot here already.

2. Where is Kevin Milne?
Greg Boyed and Ali Mau make it feel like Fair Go.  Boyed is one of the most nice but boring men on television.

The ratings have suffered their usual blip but forget about them.  And forget about Jesse Mulligan.  Trying too hard and there is something quite wrong with him.  There is absolutely no chemistry between the three.  It is like letting Chinese pick a shelf company name.  One list of Fortune, Fairview, Robinson, Lucky, Happy and another list of Height, Garden, Mansions and Estate. 

And yes we know Ali Mau has a female partner.  And fabulous legs.  But you know, lets feed her to the Sunday papers for the legs and the female partner rather than any actual ability she has.....well done to the PR machine as they've already screwed up her image. 

I do not mind Mau but if you wish to attract female viewers in the larger ad spending demographic, Boyed and Mulligan are not cutting it so all you leave us with is Mau?  Hello. 

Mau has zero comedic timing. She is a script reader, and a pretty good one. But I get the feeling she would rather strangle cats and kick puppies down the road than share the stage with Boyed and Mulligan. 

She should never have agreed to the three-headed format and staying on the show will fuck up her career if the others do not disappear.  I do not know why she agreed to do it with the blokes in the first place, but should bail at first available opportunity as she is better than this.

3. Heather du Plessis-Allan is the star of the show
The only genuinely funny and talented talent on the show.  Now being dictated by TVNZ dreadful PR machine to do horrible Women's Mag articles, but should say a large "fuck no" to that and refuse further pimping.

When the three-headed monster format is kicked for touch as it will inevitably be they could do a lot worse than let Heather front the whole show.  All she needs to do is sit and wait, at twenty-mumble something she has plenty of time. 

Chris Trotter is miles off the demographic in his fuddy-duddy review and Martyn Bradbury is just eternally jealous he will never be accepted on a mainstream TV show as he has failed in two decades to get anywhere near TVNZ, whereas I am a lot closer as a silly spending and earning 18-39 yo female the advertisers always attempt to hypnotize.  By definition my opinion counts for about ten times they do.

I am frightened to watch the show, it is far too busy, forced and a bit like this:

If the website could index Heather DP-A's pieces a bit better it could save us a hell of a lot of trouble so I could just watch those.....

Paul Henry and Heather D-PA?

Now the tension on that might just be watchable.

Cathy Odgers is a Hong Kong lawyer. She blogs as Cactus Kate.