Hanging’s too good for them! (I rule on humourless people)

Over the past three or four months I’ve made several appearances on The Paul Henry Show, theoretically in the role of informed media commentator. If you type ‘Paul Henry’ into the search box at the top of this page, you’ll find a number of seemingly contradictory posts on the controversial Mr Henry. They range from enthusiastic approval of his broadcasting skill to a call for his immediate sacking in the aftermath of ‘moustache-gate’, his mirth at the name of New Dehli’s Chief Minister, Sheila Dikshit, his description of Susan Boyle as ‘retarded’ and his offensive question to John Key as to whether the next Governor General after Anand Satyanand would look a bit more like a New Zealander.

I was right on both counts. Henry is a brilliant broadcaster who is never far from and occasionally crosses the line of acceptable broadcasting standards. I know I will regret having said this, but he’s also extremely bright.

Henry and I are of course politically poles apart. I stood as a Labour candidate in Miramar in 1972; he stood for National in the Wairarapa in 1999. And Judy and I were media advisors to Helen Clark for well over a decade. So there’s a bit of generally good-natured sparring between us on the morning show. A month ago, after he had described something I’d said about him as ‘vile’, I responded, ‘I like you Paul – when I am world dictator your death will be swift and painless.’  (I stole the line from one of my stepson’s T-shirts!)

This morning I told Paul that my appearances on his show were costing me my friends and cited an entirely fictional email from Helen Clark in New York warning me against any continued association with him. This gave Paul a wonderful opening to get stuck into the bullying, humourless bloody left. In response I felt obliged to withdraw my compliment of the previous month and inform him that I’d never actually liked him, though I very much liked his mother. Was he sure that this lovely woman really was his mother? It’s  quite a fun exchange.   

NO IT ISN’T!!!

“I watched the paul Henry show this morning and was astounded at your gullibility in becoming the shows laughing stock. Your politically biased / humorless approach in telling the viewers how you (and Helen Clarke)  dislike paul Henry is exactly what the show was seeking. what you failed to appreciate is that  the paul Henry show is appealing for its entertaining informative style.  by taking exception to jibes from paul Henry you have re enforced why those boorish self righteous labour folk were not elected. The real humor is that the guests like yourself don’t see if coming and gladly volunteer to be the shows fodder! keep up the good work!” Sic.

I’m grateful to Tim Hunter, the author of this analysis which was in my Inbox when I got home from the show this morning. It confirms what I have long known – that offering sarcasm or irony to a New Zealander is, if not precisely casting pearls before swine, at least inviting the prospect of being taken literally and therefore totally misunderstood. Sarcasm and irony both involve not saying what you mean. To take either literally thus involves deriving precisely the opposite meaning to that intended by the speaker.

This is what has happened to Mr Hunter. He can at least take comfort from being one of a vast number of Kiwis who just don’t get either irony or hyperbole. It’s important to know this when writing for a Kiwi audience. Expressing the opinion that hanging is too good for people who hog the outside lane on the motorway, or too good for the inventor of the leaf blower or or too good for parents who allow their five-year-old daughters to let out ear-piercing screams in restaurants, will produce a torrent of correspondence both for and against hanging the perpetrators of these crimes.

My personal view is that hanging is too good for humourless people. I cannot put it any better than Clive James whom I have quoted on this topic numerous times:

‘Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense dancing. Those who lack humour lack common sense and should be trusted with nothing.’

Media trainer and commentator Dr Brian Edwards posts at Brian Edwards Media.