Glucina’s new gossip site – first impressions

Today has seen the launch of gossipmonger Rachel Glucina’s “digital-only entertainment brand” and/or “New Zealand's first dedicated online entertainment destination” (depending on which media release you’re reading).

When the joint venture between MediaWorks and Ms Glucina was announced three months ago, chief executive Mark Weldon declared the mandate of the “exciting new project” that would feature “snackable, shareable content (especially video)” was to become “the go-to website for local and international entertainment content.”

The purpose, naturally, was to create new business opportunities by extending MediaWorks’ digital footprint and complementing its existing radio and TV brands, “adding value for audiences and advertisers.”

That refrain sounded very familiar to anyone who attended MediaWorks’ 2015 programme launch at the end of last year, at which Mr Weldon talked enthusiastically about how the instant brands created by the reality series he’s banking TV3’s future on can be exploited across a vertically integrated media company’s various platforms.

That has prompted NBR’s media pundits to assume that Ms Glucina’s j-v will serve up a consistent diet of puff pieces about MediaWorks’ “stars,” while the gloves will be well and truly off when it comes to everyone else. (Although Ms Glucina has declined several requests for an interview from NBR, she denied this would be the case in a Sunday Star Times piece yesterday, insisting “I am independent. I don't think anyone would take it seriously if it was a PR platform for Mediaworks.”)

So, at the risk of rushing to judgment, how is Scout – for that is its name – shaping up after being live for, oh, less than a day? (And no, I’m not going to link to it because I’ve just spent several hours of my life trawling through it so you don’t have to. Yeah, you’re welcome.)

First impressions
Time, not to mention sanity, prevents me from describing all of the site’s current, threadbare content. Instead, I’m limiting myself to the four posts being promoted at the top of the site:

• 25 most influential Kiwis 25 and under
• Instagram picks of the day
• World Cup WAGs: who to watch for
• EXCLUSIVE: Hosking hoovers new Ferrari on street

The headline of the first originally included ‘under 25s’ but was hurriedly changed after it was pointed out two of those featured have a quarter century under their belts. According to the post (I hesitate – nay, refuse – to call it a story or article), the most influential New Zealander in that age bracket is Max Key, the prime minister’s son. Why? Because he’s famous, it seems. And that’s more influential than Lorde (#2) or Lydia Ko (#4), mind. I haven’t heard of the vast majority of those included in the list (there are 25 in all, naturally) but then, by this standard, I’m old. I suspect this post is an indication of both the target demographic for the site and who we can expect to see regularly featured on it. (I also can’t help but think, given the widespread idea she has close ties to the PM, that this is a fairly transparent example of Ms Glucina doing a spot of trolling. Although that Sunday Star Times piece also notes the prime minister has signed up to feature in an episode of Celebrity Mansions, a series for ‘Scout TV’ – essentially a subsection of the site featuring video content – and quotes Ms Glucina saying, "Politics will be a part of Scout for sure.” Make of that what you will.)

The second item will obviously be a daily feature that will rely on the apparently bottomless well of narcissists who post semi-clad pix of themselves to Instagram. I imagine a strong symbiotic relationship will soon be forged between the site and the most shameless, publicity-hungry users of the social media account.

The third features the top 10 wives and girlfriends of All Blacks. Except #10 is actually the wife of an ex-All Black and #1 is the girlfriend of NZRU chairman (and ex-MediaWorks head) Brent Impey – Wendy Palmer, who just happens to be chief executive of MediaWorks’ radio division. It’s the first confirmation that Scout will indeed heavily feature thinly veiled promotional pap about MediaWorks personnel and properties (other current examples: a video item about Duncan Garner facing his fear of heights; a piece about how The Bachelor’s Art Green will go head-to-head with former All Black Zac Guildford in a charity boxing match that, although it’s billed as an exclusive, had already featured yesterday in the Herald on Sunday’s Spy pages [CORRECTION: HoS had Mr Green doing the match; Ms Glucina revealed his opponent -- it's a scoop, ladies and gentlemen!]; and a video-blog by MediaWorks radio personality Sharyn Casey on how to surreptitiously take photos of people in public).

The fourth features what appears to be covertly captured video of radio and TV personality Mike Hosking using a hand-held dust-buster to clean one of his luxury cars in public (evidence of him “embracing his inner cleaning lady,” apparently), accompanied by re-heated titbits about his personal life from other publications. Oh, and because he’s not part of the MediaWorks stable, there’s a snarky “unscientific satirical research poll” that asks “Does Mike Hosking deserve to earn $1.2 million for his NewstalkZB radio show, as rumoured?” and includes such options as “He’s a twat and I don’t follow anything Mike Hosking does.” (One would be tempted to interpret all this as a piece of meta-satire about the sorry state of our celebrity-driven mainstream media if Ms Glucina hadn’t already told us we’re meant to take it seriously.)

In short, to call Scout’s offering so far poor gruel indeed is to insult thin liquid foods everywhere. The lack of any explosive post does make one wonder why it was considered so important to launch the site by today – surely it would have been desirable to start with a bang rather than a whimper? Perhaps to make sure it’s rolling along by the time the Rugby World Cup begins? (As that Sunday Star Times article noted, “Last year the three most popular sport stories for the Herald, including Warrior Konrad Hurrell's selfie video while driving and receiving a sex act from an actress, were by Glucina.”)

Leaving aside the lamentable content, the site’s biggest failing at this point is that Ms Glucina and co appear to have made the absolutely amateur mistake of not focusing on its search engine optimisation – a Google search for news about Art Green, for example, turns up items on the NZ Herald and Stuff sites but not Scout.

But let’s leave the final first word on Scout to some of Ms Glucina’s MediaWorks colleagues in the TV3 newsroom, which reportedly went ballistic when – just hours after hugely respected, long serving senior news producer John Hale had been given his marching orders – it was announced she was joining the company:

Hilary Barry vacuums her car. #stalkingisnotok pic.twitter.com/eNutMwI3zv

— Hilary Barry (@Hilary_Barry) September 14, 2015

Exclusive: David Farrier Sits at Desk: http://t.co/eTlSTcCV7I

— Newsworthy (@newsworthynz) September 14, 2015

yeah just as an FYI i'm not doing anything for scout, ever. kia ora

— David Farrier (@davidfarrier) September 14, 2015

and if they turn up at my house while i vacuum my car then i'm teaching keith to fly and he'll tear ur face off

— David Farrier (@davidfarrier) September 14, 2015

3D car hasn't been vacuumed. Where are you @Hilary_Barry? pic.twitter.com/NH4lsBS1ZQ

— Paula Penfold (@paulapenfold) September 14, 2015