In just four months, three South Pacific airlines have collapsed – Australia’s Rex and Bonza, and Air Vanuatu, that country’s national airline.
The reasons have been well canvassed, ranging from mismanagement and unrealistic business cases to unfair competition and too little revenue from under-priced fares.
The truth contains all these plus other factors that make aviation a risky investment. Yet it remains an industry that has the allure of a light to a moth.
Despite being incredibly safe on a statistical basis, airlines are constantly in the news for mishaps, events beyond human or mechanical control, and bizarre incidents.
Lately, we’ve had an outbreak of turbulence stories, with serious injuries and even a death from unfastened passengers being flung up to the roof. In one case over the Tasman Sea, an aircraft’s sudden plunge was due to the captain’s seat accidentally being pushed forward.
From the sublime to the ridiculous, a flight from Los Angeles to New York was diverted to Phoenix, Arizona, because lice were spotted on a passenger. All had to disembark and were forbidden to fly again for 12 hours.
Abundant stories
Captain Jeremy Burfoot in the cockpit.
Such is the abundance of these stories that none are mentioned in The Secret Life of Flying, by Captain Jeremy Burfoot. The Aucklander’s articles in NBR’s Aviation News may be familiar to readers. He has also written a colourful autobiography, Kiwis Can Fly.
One of the NBR columns explains why pilots are prone to suicidal thoughts, that being the most likely explanation for the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 somewhere over the Indian Ocean. The mystery remains and Burfoot tackles it on page 104 of his part-memoir, part-explainer of all you need to know about long-haul flying.
It’s a breezy read that combines anecdotal evidence along with some heavy-duty knowledge about the mechanics of flying, the economics of fuel consumption, and reasons why you are safer in jet aircraft than on a bicycle.
The book’s flight plan arises from a literary agent seeing potential in Burfoot’s columns, now in the Sydney Morning Herald, joining the genre that tells tales about what happens behind the scenes in hospitals, hotels, eateries, and making movies.
The Australian publisher should be pleased with the result, as the ebullient Burfoot is noted for his non-PC humour, bursts of exaggeration, and borderline attitudes to authority, airline management, and a plethora of rules.
In fact, he respects the discipline these impose on all air crew and their support workers. During the Covid shutdown, Burfoot lost his job as an A380 superjumbo pilot and worked for a while as a refueller, one of the many humble but necessary tasks that enable airports to function and aircraft to fly.
It’s Burfoot’s ability to mix serious information with off-colour jokes in a single paragraph that will make this a popular read.
Refuelling is a humble but essential task in aviation.
Myriad steps
None of the myriad steps in a typical journey are missed: the preparation of the aircraft, the briefings for air crew, the frustrations in checking in and boarding passengers, and the anxieties of many travellers facing a takeoff.
Basics such as the safest place to be seated in an emergency, the condition of the toilets, why chef-branded airline food doesn’t exist, and how to dress for an upgrade are described, along with the four laws of aerodynamics, the effects of low air pressure (more flatulence), and why Diet Coke shouldn’t be served at high altitudes.
A fully laden A380 travelling at 500 knots/nautical miles an hour has the same kinetic energy as a supertanker travelling at 15 knots. The cost of an average A380 flight is about $1 million, and it produces some 900L of human waste.
Burfoot’s career started as a navigator for three years in the RNZAF. One of his first missions on an Orion was to search for Flight TE901, the Air New Zealand DC-10 that crashed into Mt Erebus.
A Qantas A380 has the same kinetic energy as a supertanker.
Risky places
He short-circuited his path to flying officer and then captain of the world’s largest airliners by initially flying in some of the riskiest places, such as Papua New Guinea.
Commercial airlines prefer to hire pilots who have survived intrepid environments. At Qantas, Burfoot was upgraded to captain of a Boeing 747 jumbo at 31. He moved on to Japan Airlines in October 1991, based in Anchorage and Hawaii, returning to Qantas in 1995 and remaining there until December 2020.
Those who aim for such a career will get the most out of this book but some may be put off. If so, it will probably be due to the stresses of shift work, being on-call between rostered duties, and a disinclination to work in teams. A chapter on what is called ‘crew resource management’ reflects Burfoot’s attitude to those who make life difficult.
Air traffic controllers can make life difficult for pilots.
You won’t be surprised to know these include those in roles such as air traffic control, security, managers without knowledge of flying, medical emergencies, and unruly passengers, who are the worst of all.
While pilots demand respect – and deserve it – among themselves, they demonstrate a variety of behaviour. Burfoot is obviously not going to be too candid, but his anecdotes may surprise.
Like other professions where smart people spend too much time being bored in between times when their skills are needed, pilots are prone to have strong opinions on topics they know nothing about and be foolish with their above-average incomes.
They are often targets for financial scams, Burfoot reveals, but are tough-minded when negotiating their pay rates. “Sterile cockpit” rules – the recording of all conversations – limits their freedom to express views on all but necessary matters.
Safety concerns
Burfoot is cautious in discussing the many safety issues and concerns that are publicised in the media, often from passengers and sources without contextual knowledge. In addition to the aforementioned Flight MH370, ample space is given to things that can go wrong.
Some of these involve incidents where manual systems are unable to control faulty software, faults in engines, decompression, and flying in extreme conditions such as ice, volcanic ash, and clear-air turbulence.
This Qantas A350-1000 is among the world’s most advanced airliners.
Yet Burfoot outlines how rapid innovation has made aircraft safer and more reliable. It has taken just 120 years to progress from the crude flying machines of the Wright brothers to Dreamliners and A350s made of lighter composites than metal, using artificial intelligence and powered by larger and more efficient engines.
From the mundane, such as why luggage goes missing, to the myths of contrails and the realities of the mile high club, Burfoot doesn’t miss an answer to anything you are likely to ask, except how to make aviation more profitable for investors.
He has a pilot’s view of low-cost operators who have brought cheap travel to the masses – “the romance … has gone thanks to the accountants and the terrorists” – while sympathising with the everyday traveller’s frustrations with overly zealous security checks.
On sustainability and climate change commitments, Burfoot is “old school” and would support Air New Zealand’s admission that greenwashing isn’t the answer. Carbon emissions are a price to pay for air travel’s convenience and cost-effectiveness; claims of the industry’s carbon footprint size are overdone compared with other forms of transport.
While Burfoot’s career as an international pilot may have peaked, his future as a writer-pilot seems assured. But I doubt he will be joining the ranks of the managers and bean-counters.
The Secret Life of Flying: What really happens when you travel by air, by Captain Jeremy Burfoot.
Nevil Gibson is a former editor-at-large for NBR. He has contributed film and book reviews to various publications.
This is supplied content and not paid for by NBR.
